Yesterday on this blog I expressed gobsmacked disbelief that Necco Wafers, which had been discontinued following the bankruptcy of the New England Confectionery Company, would soon be returning to stores.
My article, heavy on the wisenheimer, suggested that there is in fact nobody left on planet Earth who likes or consumes these chalky, bland, foul-tasting death discs.
But of course, I was exaggerating. Slightly. There are Necco Wafer fans, and I am happy for them. I too know the pain of having a beloved snack product disappear:
But unlike Hostess snack cakes, which everyone universally loves, there is a vocal, prominent distaste for Necco wafers.
Ha! And you thought I was the only one. Not by a country mile, friendo.
But being a curious soul, and also wanting to use my blog for the powers of good, I am proud to present:
The Wentyworld.com® Necco Wafers Hate Test
Here’s how it works. There are six simple questions, and you may only have to answer one. Take the quiz and COMMENT below with your results! It’s interactive….ish! Okay, got your #2 pencil? Here we go!
QUESTION ONE:
Do you genuinely, non-ironically and without hesitation enjoy eating Necco Wafers, the candy product pictured above?
If you answered YES to the above question, you are finished with the quiz. Enjoy your chalky janky-flavored death wafers ya freak! (Just joshing.)
If you answered NO please answer the next 5 questions.
- WOULD YOU RATHER…eat a full sleeve of Necco wafers or eat a tossed salad topped with your grandfather’s toenail clippings?
- WOULD YOU RATHER…eat a full sleeve of Necco wafers or attend a 120-minute timeshare presentation at Cholera Estates in San Juan?
- WOULD YOU RATHER…eat a full sleeve of Necco wafers or stick your fist in a grizzly bear’s mouth for a count of 3?
- WOULD YOU RATHER…eat a full sleeve of Necco wafers or spend 48 hours in my apartment building listening to angry psychotic dogs exchange verbal abuse, and wonder if all four machines in the laundry room will ever again be operational at the same time?
- WOULD YOU RATHER…eat a full sleeve of Necco wafers or ride a poorly-maintained Tilt-A-Whirl for 47 consecutive hours?
Comment below with your answers!