Taking inspiration from such legendary week-long programming stunts as “Shark Week”, “Young People Week” on Card Sharks and “Vegas Week” on The Merv Griffin Show, wentyworld.com proudly presents Salad Week!
This all started in the KCOW break room where Kalin Krohe and I were having argument #457: The Lunch Argument. The lunch argument generally goes as follows:
WENTY: You pick the same four places for lunch over and over again! I wanna pick where we eat once in a while.
KALIN: I won’t do fast food. It’s toxic and harmful and I won’t bring it within 10 feet of my body. Except at night by myself.
(This is 100% true. He whimpers and whines when I ask, once every eight months, to go to McDonald’s for lunch. But he grabs Mickey D’s drive-thru on the regular. He also has been known to bring me Mickey Ds so I can’t complain. And he’s a good friend for bringing me along for lunch everyday, so the entire foundation of my argument is flawed at best.
Still though…weird . Back to the argument:)
WENTY: I’m not saying we have to do fast food, it would just be nice to pick once in a —
KALIN: That’s it! I’m going to Safeway and buying a four-year supply of healthy, nutritious food like microwave taquitos. Either join me in healthy frozen food or suck it!
(This is what’s known in our lunch argument as “the nuclear option.” Much like actual nuclear detonations, when I call Krohe’s bluff on this and say “Sure! Let’s do it! Off to Safeway!” he shuts right up and we go to one of his four Kro-Kosher ordained restaurant choices.)
So we were having the restaurant argument and fellow KCOW-er Mamacita, along with Olivia Newton-Boss , challenged us to eat healthy for a week. So today begins Salad Week. (They said we could eat other things that were healthy but when I brought up pasta as a healthy option, and when Kroheim mentioned soup, we were both denied. So, let’s just say salad.)
Now I know I have a reputation for being an unhealthy eater. And it is well-deserved! I love burgers and fries, chicken strips, basically I have the pallette of a 12-year-old. But I do like salad too! Well, okay, let’s be clear. I love tossed salad. And chicken salad. And waldorf salad. And fruit salad!
And that’s pretty much it. You’d have to hypnotize me to get me to eat potato salad, egg salad or macaroni salad. This trio of mayonaiisey, goopy, eggy salads is hard to avoid. But for 47 years I have. Oops, make that 48.
But tossed salad or Caesar salad or the like, sure, absolutely! So join us all this week as we ask the following questions:
-Is Dorothy Lynch a real lady?
-Isn’t “creamy Italian” just ranch?
-Why do restaurants serve hard-boiled egg pieces with salad? Hard-boiled eggs are gross! (Okay, this is just me being a picky eater.)
-Are Homer and Bart right?