(Yes, the headline is Muppet-related. But it seemed a more jocular headline that “Poor Poor Pitiful Me, I Am In The Hospital”!”
Yesterday was Sunday. The last day of a very abnormal weekend for your humble correspondent. Abormal not because of what I did, because of how I slept. On Friday and Saturday night, I found myself falling asleep in my chair extemely early. Then waking up at like 2:00am and not being able to get back to sleep. I caught some ZZZ’s both days mid-afternoon.
Please hold…my dinner has arrived.
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Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and orange sherbet! Not too shabby! Now..where was I? Ah yes..
This oddball sleep schedule found me very productive at really absurd hours. I posted a story to this blog Saturday morning at 1:50something AM. And I sent a radio scrpt to my pal Dangerous Dave at 7:30am Sunday.
Sunday afternoon I got out of my chair and realized I was having dfficutly walking. I was doing exmplary falling work–we’re talking Chevy Chase, Dick Van Dyke, Chris Farley-levels of pratfalls.
My friend, the aforementioned D.D., invited me to come to his place and play some WWE2K20. It’s a video game. So I thought, “Well, I’m stumbling and bumbling all over this apartment but Dave only lives 2 buildings down! This should do-able!”
Please don’t comment telling me I’m an idiot. I am well-aware.
So I went down three flights of stairs in my apartment buiding, stopping every fifth step to gasp for breath and store some energy. Then I went outside and grabbed onto cars to hold myself up. I biffed a few times on the way to Dave’s apartment (he’s on the 3rd floor like me).
Dave got me a drink of water and we played some WWE. I never won a match, but I did throw a guy out of the ring in a Royal Rumble battle royale, which is a moral victory if nothing else.
After gaming it we went for food and Dave, noticing my inability to get into is car without an assistance, asked if he should go to the hospital. I said yes and we hit the ER (not literally). Dave hung around while they got me hooked up to an IV, took me to get a catscan, got a urine sample (Dave didn’t see that part but the nurse was present due to my “fall risk”. Awkward but the BBGH staff are uniformly helpful and considerate.
Shortly after they got me to a patient room, Dave signed off nurse duty. I am the luckiest sun of a gun to have so many friends who would drop anything to helpful.
As to why I was slipping and slidding…well, the doc here is looking at my meds, and I believe hes going to add one I weaned off several weeks after leaving the hospital last time. Probably a wise idea..I had some funky side effects from it, but I’d rather have funky side effects and walk.
Some of this is doubtless repeating but I do have this thing called chiari malformation, where the base of my brain puts pressure on my spinal cord. When I went to see the Denver neurology team I was feeling tip-top, so they said I did not need surgery. They did warn me of certain ailments that meant I needed to act on them and possibly schedule surgery. All 3 of those things are happening, so I’ve been in touch with Denver Health. They wanted to schedule an appointment but I protested: “That’s a very expensive trip for me. I’d like to just speak with the doctor or communicate with him online first.” So we’ll see.
Today’s hospital activities included an MRI (no change from the one I had a month ago), and the lightest, most low-impact PT session of all times.
This is a rotten week to be sick. We were already 1 person short this week at work and now it’s 2. I’m reeeeeally hoping to get out of here, but I’m not going to rush it either. Last time I was here the PT sessions really helped take me from a stumbleum to a confident walker who didn’t need a walker. I don’t think I’m gonna be here anywhere near 7 days this time but I’m gonna hope for at least one more full day of PT.
Also, I must note that Matt and Cherry Martin visited me tonight, with a bottle of Coke and a Reader’s Digest. I love Reader’s Digest! Those “Know Your Word Power” quizzes make this blog perfectly cromulent in every way.
