Are you there, God? It’s me, Wenty.
That’s not exactly an original opening. I thought you were a Director Of Creative Services.
Cut me some slack, almighty…uh..you. I’m not handling things very well at the moment.
I’m hearing a lot of that.
Of course you are! And that’s what makes me feel bad even bringing it to your attention. I’m not sick. I have a job, and I actually get to work in the office. I still get to do my show which I love. My finances are fine, which as I’m sure you’ll recall hasn’t always been the case.
I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. Praying for a check to deposit in two days isn’t really the kind of thing I want to handle.
I am definitely guilty of praying in the service of trivial matters.
That’s okay. I forgive you. Also, you can pray to me all you want about your flight from Denver departing but the United States air travel system is beyond even my help.
Wow.
So what concerns you today? You’ve told me what’s not a concern…let’s get into what’s going on.
Well, God…I feel ashamed to even say this out loud but…I’m incredibly lonely. I work for the most part in isolation. I live alone. I get out to get groceries once a week or less. The only human communication I have is Facebook messages, a staff meeting on Zoom, and taking request phone calls during my radio programs.
Looking back on your history, you don’t seem like the most social person in the world.
I know. I’ve always been okay in solitude…but I also had a foundation of social interaction. I talked to people at work. My friend and I would go to lunch every day. Once in a while I would visit another friend. Once or twice a year I’d have a play going on to practice for. Sometimes I’d go somewhere with a friend and do something. Now I have none of that. It’s affecting me a heck of a lot more than I thought it would.
Well, you’re far from the only person experiencing this.
I know, Lord. But I feel like the only person. Take my work family. Everyone I work with, with one exception, has someone in their home to help them get through this. Spouse, kids, perhaps other family. And the one other co-worker who, like me, lives alone, has a car and could at least go for a drive. I can go as far as I can walk. I walk to work half-asleep at 5:30am and walk home trying not to get sand in my eyes from the 30mph wind gusts. When the weather gets better I’m gonna try to take longer walks in the afternoon.
That might help.
Might? Lord, are you being vague to sort of guide me to some epiphany, or are you just hedging your bets?
A little from column A, a little from column B.
In addition to feeling lonely I also feel genuinely hopeless. God, as you may remember, 2019 sucked hard. I know you remember because I asked you for guidance and courage and you managed to get me through 7 or 8 MRIs, a handful of Catscans, three lengthy hospitalizations, and a genuinely harrowing health crisis. It was a miserable year and now, God D–uh, gosh darn it….2020 is even worse. I just feel like I’ve suffered enough of a trial, you know?
You haven’t read the bible in a while, have you?
I withdraw the comment.
Deuteronomy 8:2
You shall remember all the way which the Lord your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.
I am humbled. And I will try to pass the test.
I know you will.
So…how is Mom doing?
She’s spending the afterlife enjoying a view of the ocean. Her and Arlene play cards a lot.
That’s nice.
She worries about your diet.
Yeah, my sister told me that.
Well, I told her.
Thank you for listening, Lord.
Anytime.