At the very end of 2018, I returned to work from Christmas vacation and had a very stressful day or two. There was just a lot of stuff piled up and some minor office drama on top of it…and I noticed my left eye was twitching. Just a little facial tic of the variety lots of folks get in times of stress. But mine just sort of hung around.
I went to see my doctor–I had to get a new one because there had been some changes at the clinic where I was going and they basically booted me from their list. My doc started talking to me about my recent medical history, which was basically: “Go to the clinic when I have a sinus infection or bug. Ignore everything else.” So, while I went in for a CAT scan and other tests to see if the eye twitch could be figured out, the doc started getting me on the road to addressing elements of my medical history that I stupidly sort of tucked away when I moved to Nebraska.
The tests (including multiple MRIs) indicated that I had a chiari malformation. If this was a Hitchcock movie the chiari would be the McGuffin:
A MacGuffin is a plot device that motivates the characters and advances the story, but has little other relevance to the story itself.
I spent much of 2019 thinking I was going to need surgery for the Chiari, only to be told by the neurologists in Denver, “It looks fine. Nothing to write home about.” Ah-huh…okay.
2019 was also the year of three multi-night hospitalizations, which revealed (and re-confirmed) that I had adrenal insufficiency.
In the midst of all of this, suddenly the eye twitch didn’t seem like such a big deal anymore. And honestly, it came and went…got better and worse. But over the last few months it’s been especially problematic.
What was once just a little tic has become a facial spasm that seems to originate in my left eye and extend to that side of my face and even the left side of my mouth. When the spasm is happening I am not able to speak the way I should. When it’s especially bad my left eye just shuts. When I’m doing the morning show I have to fight the spasm…which results in times where I feel like I’m coming off on-air like a drunkard or a stroke victim. This is without even going into how awkward I feel in front of people when the eye spazzes out and takes half my face with it. People used to say they didn’t notice the little tic, and I could believe that. Mercifully, nobody is trying to convince me they can’t see this awfulness when it’s happening.
So now that all of my other medical issues are stable I decided to ask my doc about this facial thing. He referred me to a skin specialist who does botulinum toxin injections for those who have this kind of facial spasm. They are apparently caused by a nerve behind the eye, and the botox settles down that nerve…or something.
So on Wednesday afternoon I’m going in to get needles jabbed in my forehead or somewhere near there. I hope it works. But if it doesn’t we will pursue the next option, whatever that might be. After MRIs, hospital stays, CATscans, and trips to Denver to see the neurogeniuses…I’m much less afraid of doctors and hospitals than I was two years ago. Which I guess is a win of sorts.