The Wedding of Pat and Courtney, as Told By The Best Man

Dear Jason Patrick,

Here is the story of how your Uncle Wenty and your Uncle Kalin went to see your Dad and Mom get married. (Kalin and I aren’t really your uncles, and we aren’t really brothers. But I love Kalin like a brother, and we fight like brothers, so it’s close enough.)

I have known your pappy, Pat Adriance, since 1995. We’ve had lots of adventures together. Our earliest adventures were when we attended college together at SUNY Brockport. That’s when I met your Uncle Ben and your Grandma and Grandpa Adriance. (They will play an important role in the story later.)

Your Dad and I worked together at a radio station in Nebraska. We had more crazy adventures there, and your Dad met Kalin Krohe there. They became skateboarding pals. Sometimes they would take me with them. Once I almost died! You’ll have to ask your Dad about that story.

So in 2011, your Dad called me on the phone and said that he wanted me to be the Best Man at his wedding. I felt very proud to be asked. And I was excited to go to the wedding. Kalin and I decided to go to the wedding together. So I got plane tickets for us, and booked a room for us in the hotel where the wedding would be.

This is the first Best Man Mistake I made. You see, at the time your Dad and Mom lived in Raleigh, North Carolina. The hotel where the wedding was going to be held was in Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina. These two places are about 170 miles apart. But I got plane tickets to Raleigh. So I had to figure out a way to get Kalin and me from Raleigh to Ocean Isle Beach. I also had to ask The Bank Of Dave and Mary to pay for however we were going to get there. (Dave and Mary are my Mom and Dad. Mary is in heaven. She loved the Adriance family and was so happy to see the first picture of you!)

So Mom and Dad helped me pay for a shuttle van to drive Kalin and me from Raleigh to Ocean Isle Beach. But before any of that happened Kalin had to get to Alliance, so the two of us could head for the Denver airport. And that almost didn’t happen! In 2011 Kalin lived in South Dakota and it took him a couple of bus rides and bumming a couple rides to get to Alliance. I think he may have ridden a camel for the last few miles. (Okay, that’s not true. The idea of Kalin riding a camel through western Nebraska just makes me laugh.)

Kalin and I went to Denver and stayed at a hotel there. There was a diner near the hotel and we got supper.

The next morning we flew from Denver, Colorado all the way to Raleigh, North Carolina. Boy were our arms tired when we got to Raleigh! (That’s a Dad joke but Uncles can also tell them.) In Raleigh we found our shuttle driver and he took us to Ocean Isle Beach. We got into the hotel room and your Dad visited us. It was great to see him again. The nice thing about best friends is that no matter how long it is between seeing each other, when you get together again nothing has changed.

On our first morning in the hotel, I put a pair of socks on a shelf over the toilet. The shelf was kind of loose and my socks fell in the toilet. Kalin called me “Toilet Socks” for the rest of the day. (I threw the socks away. Kalin may have saved them for his scrapbook.)

On our first day in Ocean Isle Beach, Pat and Kalin and I (along with an old college friend named Chad Kohl) went wandering through Ocean Isle Beach. We had lunch and played video games. And that night there was a dinner for all of the people who would be seeing the wedding. Kalin and I got to meet your Mom, Courtney. She was really nice to us, and funny, and we were glad she was going to marry Pat.

The second Best Man Mistake I made as the Best Man of the wedding was this: I brought the wrong pants. You see, your Mom and Dad were getting married on the beach, and they asked everyone to wear a white shirt and khaki pants. They asked me, since I am part of “everyone”. But I forgot, and packed black pants. So on the day of his own wedding, your Dad brought Kalin and me to Wal-Mart so I could buy the right pants.

Once we came back from Wal-Mart Grandma Adriance pressed my shirt and pants. Take a look at this photo! Your Uncle Jason has never looked this put-together before or since:

Then, we all went to the beach. And we had a wedding! And it was wonderful.

After the wedding, there was a reception. It was also wonderful. As the Best Man, I got to give a toast. A toast is when you say a bunch of things then ask people to take a drink. I said a bunch of things. And people drank. So I guess it went okay.

And after the wedding, and the reception, it was time for Jason and Kalin to go back to Nebraska. They begged Grandma and Grandpa Adriance to drive them back to Raleigh so they wouldn’t have to hitchhike. And the Adriances gave them a lift, pitying the poor souls.

And that is how your Uncle Jason and Uncle Kalin went to see your Mom and Dad get married. And now: Hot tub photos!