It’s A Wonderful Something Or Other

(INT: The Bailey home. Friends and loved ones are coming to George’s aid. The bank examiner and Sheriff have even joined in the festive atmosphere. Just when things seem to have reached their peak of excitement, war hero Harry Bailey rushes in to cheers and ballyhoo.)

MARTINI: I bring some wine!
HARRY: Good idea Mr. Martini! A toast. (The room is hushed.) To my big brother George…the richest man in town!

The crowd bursts with cheers and singing as little Janey Bailey plays “Auld Lang Syne” on the piano and everyone sings along. GEORGE happens to notice a dog-eared copy of “The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer” among the paper money and coins gathered in a large basket.

MARY: What’s that?
OEORGE: Oh, well, tha-that’s just a present from a very dear friend. (GEORGE glances skyward.) Attaboy Clarence!

(The roomful of Bedford Fallsians continues to sing and toast as we FADE OUT.)

WENTY: Hello, I’m Jason Wentworth, proprietor of Wentyworld.com and curator of a fair-to-middling Jimmy Stewart impression. Every year I watch “It’s A Wonderful Life”, and every year a tear comes to my eye as Harry makes his toast. It’s a wonderful movie. No pun intended. But lately I’ve been wondering…where does the story go from here? (No, I’m not talking about Mr. Potter getting away with stealing $8,000. SNL already covered that ground quite nicely:)

Let’s pick up, oh, about 90 minutes after the last of Martini’s wine has been tipped back. Everyone is gone now. Janey, Petey, Tommy, Zuzu and her petals are sound asleep waiting for Santa Claus. George and Mary are, in a word, exhausted.

GEORGE: Holy cow, Mary…what a riot. I guess we can just be glad this drafty old barn survived it all.
MARY: Oh, George…we really are so very lucky.
GEORGE: You said that right. You know, I counted all this money. After I put this $8,000 in the safe at the office tomorrow morning we’ll have over two thousand dollars left over!
MARY: We need to be very careful how we use that money.
GEORGE: Well, here’s an idea Mrs. Bailey. Howzabout you and me leave the kids with Mother and go cruise the Mediterranean?
MARY: Oh George…be serious!
GEORGE: You know what? (GEORGE kisses MARY’s hand.) I am serious!
MARY: Ohhhh…George!
GEORGE: No, no, now listen, I never was able to lasso the moon for you…at least I can lasso a cabin in tourist class! Heck, Ernie can drive us to New York, it’ll be wonderful! Best Christmas present either of us ever got.
MARY: George, I cannot in good conscience use this money for something so frivolous!
GEORGE: Mary!
MARY: I have presents to wrap. You’d better go get some sleep if you’re going to go to the Building and Loan before the children wake up for Christmas morning!
GEORGE: Yeah…I….I guess so.

(SFX: NBC Chimes followed by “Buffalo Gals Won’t You Come Out Tonight” instrumental)

ANNCR: You’ve been listening to “The George Bailey Show”, the exciting radio story of one man’s life. And now it’s time for “George Talk”, with the producer of “The George Bailey Show”, Woodrow Christof. Mr. C, as most of our listeners know, “The George Bailey Show” started when the NBC Blue Network become the first corporation to adopt a child.

C: Yes, we introduced George to the actors we cast as his mother and father at the tender age of 3 months.

ANNCR: And one of the most challenging plotlines was the death of George’s father.

C: Yes, well, Samuel Hinds kept trying to point out all the hidden microphones to George…killing the father off was our only option.

ANNCR: That also served to solve another problem.

C: Well, as you know, “The George Bailey Show” is the only radio program to have actual sets.. we use the backlot at one of the big studios here in Hollywood–and no, I’m not telling which one! But George from a very young age has craved to see the world. And it’s been our job to keep him on that backlot.

ANNCR: The death of Peter Bailey, the only fictional character obituary to make the cover of LIFE Magazine, gave you an obvious roadblock. When it appeared that George was going to try again to see the world, you married off the brother character and wrote in a great job from his father-in-law.

C: And just as George was about to go on his honeymoon with Mary there was the depression and run on the bank.

ANNCR: A brilliant plot twist.

C: Of course the depression happened a full three years before our depiction of it on the show…one of the benefits of keeping George cut off from actual news.

ANNCR: Let’s take a look at some of the letters and postcards we’ve received from radio listeners since our last “George Talk” session. Bridey McGhonagle, who listens to the program on WHDH Boston writes, “I think I saw Bert the Cop in a luncheonette here in Boston! He must not have been on duty.”

C: Well, Bridey, as we’ve discussed before, all of the figures on the show are actors–except George. And they do get away from time to time. We write their departures into the show.

ANNCR: Ralph Hurdle, who dials in on station WMT Cedar Rapids has this query. “Do you really think you’ll be able to keep this up much longer? George has got to know the fix is in!”

C: Heh heh heh. Nothing is predictable, but George has been living a produced and directed life for over 40 years. I honestly think most people would be as oblivious as our George.

ANNCR: And finally, Edna Drummond who listens on KDKA Pittsburgh writes, “Is it true they’re going to make a movie out of George’s life?”

C: Yes, Frank Capra bought the rights from the network, he’s working on it out here…those of us who started the radio program have nothing to do with it. They’re casting Jimmy Stewart as George, totally wrong for the part!

ANNCR: I think I read in Daily Variety that they’re going to add an element of fantasy.

C: Yes, some nonsense with a guardian angel. Hollywood can’t keep their filthy mitts off things. No matter. In 50 years “The George Bailey Show” will be enshrined in the Radio Hall Of Fame, and Capra’s movie? Ah, they’ll be lucky if it gets screened once a year.