To those of my readers not from Nebraska, this seems like the most salacious, inappropriate headline ever posted on this humble blog.
Dorothy Lynch, you see, is Nebraska’s most beloved salad dressing. And a very popular question on The Google® is in regard to the dressing’s unusual flavor. The official Dorothy Lynch website offers:
Loyal eaters describe the flavor of Dorothy Lynch as sweet and spicy with a thick and creamy texture. We often hear people say that it tastes like you made it yourself. And as everyone knows, there’s no taste like home.
A couple of thoughts. One: Those who are not “loyal eaters” will eventually die. Unless they’re referring to “loyal eaters of Dorothy Lynch salad dressing”, which seems faulty. I mean, you don’t really EAT salad dressing…unless you have a serious problem,
Two: I don’t care what it tastes like…I am repulsed by its appearance.
For all those who wanna start in with “How can you tell if you like it if you don’t try it?!?!?” allow me to present my reasoned reply. I tried things when I was a kid. I learned pretty quickly that if it looks gross, it is gross. One of the benefits of adulthood is you can make the decision to not taste things that you have a reasonable suspicion will be grody. Sure, you may end up missing things that taste good. But it’s my call and I stand by it.
I also know, from that description, that this has a more-than-passing resemblance to stuff like Russian dressing and Thousand Island, which I have tried and would not touch again with a ten-foot salad tong.
However, I am in the minority in my dislike of approximately 14,871 edibles and potables. And Nebraskans really do love their Dorothy Lynch dressing. As a transplanted Nebraskan, some of the conversion took and some did not. But because this is Salad Week, and because I want to have the full Nebraska experience, today when Kroheim and I get lunch I will ask for Dorothy Lynch dressing. In a little cup. On the side. Brought in a seperate trip from the actual salad if at all possible.
Omg Fuck you. “What does it taste like? I wouldn’t know bc it looks gross.” What a shit post from a shit blog.
Now this is the kind of off-the-rails, incredibly overheated comment I’ve been trying to get on this blog for years! And all I had to do is say I don’t think I would like a certain kind of salad dressing. Funny, the things that will enrage a person.