“Now That I Don’t Understand At All”: The Jack Benny Specials Part Two

This is a continuation of my first article regarding the one-hour Jack Benny comedy specials which aired on NBC from 1965 through 1974. These are not to be confused with the many specials Jack did when his regular series aired on CBS (1950-1964). Nor should they be confused with posthumous tribute specials. Clear as mud? Swell! Let’s pick up where we left off.

Jack Benny’s New Look returns to the “mod” trappings of his previous special “Jack Benny’s Bag”. Even more effort is put into the theming this time around, with a lengthy opening sequence featuring film footage of Jack carrying protest signs, playing guitar, wearing long glorious locks of hippie hair and so forth. Every “establishment” comedian was doing this schtick at the time–so no points for originality. But Jack manages to make this seem like a silly, harmless sequence–the joke, always, is on him–whereas other comedians did hippie jokes and sketches that were weighed down by contempt and ridicule for young people. Jack is joined by George Burns, Nancy Sinatra, Gary Puckett and the Union Gap, Eddie “Rochester” Anderson and special guest star Gregory Peck.

Peck’s appearance is an example of the caliber of guests Jack was able to secure for his television projects. Actors Robert Wagner, Natalie Wood, Humphrey Bogart, James Stewart; musicians from Sinatra to Nat King Cole to Peter, Paul and Mary; and notable non-show business figures like former president Harry Truman and the Reverend Billy Graham. In this era of increasingly splintered audience it can be hard to imagine, but it’s just the truth: Everybody loved and respected Jack Benny.

George Burns, Jack’s best friend, gets things rolling by hectoring Jack from the studio audience.

GEORGE: Your producer said that you cut me out!
JACK: Not you, George, I just cut out your lousy song!
GEORGE: How do you like that, a lousy song? He’s talking about one of my big hits, “I’ll Be Waiting For You Bill When You Come Back From San Juan Hill.” He calls that a lousy song! It’ll tear your heart out! At the finish I cry like a baby.
JACK: I heard that song and I don’t blame you!

George gets the audience to help him with a song. Nancy Sinatra sings “The Best Is Yet To Come” and “Here There and Everywhere.” In the Kodak commercial, Jack runs into old nemesis Frank Nelson at the camera counter. Frank, bless his heart, wins the “Least Convincing Toupee Award” for 1969.

Gregory Peck appears in a funny sketch with Jack visiting the Oscar-winner to ask him to do his special. Jack looks over Peck’s livingroom while he waits for the star to drop in.

JACK (examining an Academy Award): “To Kill A Mockingbird”…gee, I don’t remember that one. I gotta watch more television.

This is a “Jack is a miser” joke, which may not connect with audiences who have grown up watching movies on their television set the same day they are released to theaters.

The other big moment in this special is a musical number that…well, you just have to see it. Gregory Peck sings! As do George and Jack….it’s quite something.

NOTE: “Jack Benny’s New Look” is the only one of the NBC specials to not be available in its entirety on YouTube. But it is on Internet Archive.

Jack Benny’s 20th Anniversary Special. This is indeed special. The anniversary being celebrated is Jack’s 20th year in television…but the ocassion is taken to celebrate Jack’s entire broadcasting history, with appearances from radio cast members who rarely appeared on television. It’s also interesting that this NBC special celebrates an anniversary for which the peacock network can only boast 25%.

Guest Stars: Bob Hope, Dinah Shore
Special Guest Star: Frank Sinatra:
With: Mary Livingstone, Dennis Day, Rochester, Mel Blanc, Frank Nelson, Benny Rubin, and Don Wilson

(Eddie Anderson is billed simply as “Rochester” for reasons of nostalgia one supposes.)

Don Wilson comes out to give a respectful, distinguished introduction to his long-time boss, and ends up…well…griping about his lack of employment.

JACK: Don? What is this?! You’re supposed to introduce me, that’s all!
DON: Introduce yourself! (Kicks floor, walks off in a huff)

Don WIlson was one of the few radio cast members to be consistently involved with Jack’s TV series, which is where the whole “kicking the floor and pouting” thing came in. There are some fantastic “Jack Benny Program” television episodes that center around Don.

DInah Shore and Jack reminisce about the first Jack Benny television program, which featured Dinah as a guest star.

JACK: Y’know, Dinah, I can still remember those reviews of my opening show. Weren’t they awful?
DINAH: Oh yeah. Especially that one critic who said, “After seeing Jack Benny for the first time on TV last night, I predict he won’t last a month.”
JACK: Welllll….that one didn’t count. It was in a medical journal.

Surprise Cameo #1: Before Dinah can sing her song, Dean Martin rings Jack’s chimes and they do the anniversary waltz.

Surprise Cameo #2: Jack receives a telegram from Red Skelton, whose long-running variety series had just made the jump from CBS to NBC, a network switch Jack was certainly familiar with. Red drops what is clearly an ad lib, as indicated by Jack’s complete collapse.

RED: Telegram for you.
JACK: Wait a minute…you know, you look exactly like Red Skelton.
RED: You’re the tenth person who said that this week.
(RED presents his hand to Jack…briefly.)
RED: I’m a dreamer, ain’t I? (After audience settles down) I tell ya, I don’t have many lines but I make the most of them!

Next is the centerpiece of the entire special, a lengthy sketch at the airport. Rochester is giving Jack some help.

JACK: Rochester, I wanna tell ya it was so nice of you to drive me down here. I really could have, y’know, taken a cab from Beverly Hills.
ROCHESTER: You could have taken a cab from where you made me park!

Jack visits the Information counter where Benny Rubin’s answer to every question is “I don’t know.” Rubin appeared in a whopping 54 episodes of Jack’s TV series, and just as many if not more radio episodes. Next, it’s over to the ticket counter….oh….oh mister? Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!?!???????????? It’s our favorite, Frank Nelson! And congratulations to Frank for keeping the string alive, winning the 1970 Least Convincing Toupee award!

Dennis Day, his wife and uh….a ton of children happen to encounter Jack at the airport. Dennis Day was 54 when this was taped yet he still is able to convincingly play “that stupid kid.” Meanwhile, Rochester handed off Jack’s overweight bags to a traveler who, like Jack, is headed south of the border.

JACK: Pardon me mister, but did that man put some of my clothes into your luggage?
Sy: Si.

Yes, it’s Mel Blanc, doing a routine that never failed to make Jack laugh. Mel also pipes in as PA announcer informing everyone that the next plane is headed for Anaheim, Azuza and Cuc (LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG PAUSE) -amonga!

Bob Hope shows up in about as sincere an appearance as you’re bound to see. There’s a monologue first, of course…you can just picture Bob calling his writers at 3:00am….”I need 12 miser jokes, 8 violin jokes, 4 jokes about old age, and…uh…..see if you can cook something up about The Horn Blows at Midnight.”

The sincerity comes when Hope sings a gently joshing “Thanks For The Memory” in Jack’s honor.

So thanks for the memory
Of friendship you and I
have shared through years gone by
I’ve been your pal and you’ve been mine
That will never die
Thank you soooooooooo muuuuuuuch…..

Hope and Benny did frequent crossovers on each others’ series and specials, and although their comedic styles are so very different, they always seemed to have fun together on camera. It was Hope who, when George Burns was too grief-stricken to carry on, delivered the eulogy at Jack’s funeral.

Frank SInatra appears in the studio via helicopter (!?) and, after some banter, sings “I Get A Kick Out Of You.”

Next, dear Mary Livingstone appears in a sketch. Jack’s wife had serious stage fright, and towards the end of the radio days ceased performing in front of a live audience. The solution for radio was to have a stand-in (frequently their daughter Joan Benny) perform the “Mary” part during the performance for the audience, then splice in lines Mary herself had recorded at home. For television, some of the episodes were filmed single-camera and Mary does appear in those. But she did not participate in episodes filmed, taped or broadcast live with a studio audience.

Mary’s sketch hinges on this very subject–her not wanting to be on television. Jack tricks her into being on-camera using a hidden camera in a framed painting. “How do you like that Jack?”, chuckles Mary. “He’s so sneaky, but he’s awful cute.”

Surprise Cameo #3: Lucille Ball appears as Mary Livingstone’s maid. The Bennys lived next door to Lucy for years. An often told anecdote involves Jack walking into Lucy’s house, wandering through their home playing his violin, and wordlessly walking out the door.

Jack introduces a film montage of guest stars. Again, the vast majority of these clips are from CBS episodes, which aired for 14 years whereas Jack’s weekly NBC television series only ran one season. Some clips in the montage are from previous NBC specials, but black and white film is used rather than the color videotape they were produced on. I imagine this was done to maintain the “nostalgia” theme.

The finale is a redo of a “Jack Benny Program” sketch, which depicts the Benny cast in their elderly years. Don, Rochester, Dennis, Bob Hope and Dinah Shore make entrances in old age costumes. Then down the stairs comes Jack, looking……well, 39, of course.

This special is one of the best of the NBC group…fantastic array of guest stars, a wonderful reunion of the radio cast (minus Phil Harris) and some really clever sketches.

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Jack Benny (But Were Afraid To Ask)

The “hook” this time around is the book (replace “Jack Benny” with “Sex”) written by Dr. David Reuben. Dr. Reuben joins guest stars Lucille Ball, George Burns, Phil Harris, Dionne Warwick and John Wayne.

DR. REUBEN: Jack…have you read the book?
JACK: Wellllllllll….I started to…
DR. REUBEN: Started?
JACK: Yeah….I fainted on page ten.

Of course, the attention-getting title means we get to see some great moments from Benny History. (Or something resembling it.)

But first–since he wasn’t around for the anniiversary show–Phil Harris drops by to stupefy Jack with his nonsensical song “That’s What I Love About The South.” (“Did I tell ya ’bout the place called Doo-Wah-Diddy, well it ain’t no town and it ain’t no city.”)

Since the show is all about Jack, he pulls a Carol Burnett and takes questions from the audience. (Some of these seem like they might be actual audience questions; the segment appears heavily edited.) George Burns walks on to give his best pal the razz, including suggesting that Jack looks like a turtle in the steam room, and revealing that Jack kept wearing the dress from “Charley’s Aunt” two months after the picture was finished.

George continues to tell stories from the two friends’ show business past, and there’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo by Bob Hope as a rotten juggler at the Palace Theater. George’s story portrays Jack in embrassing roles, first as a shoeshine boy then as a monkey trainer.

Dionne Warwick sings two lesser known songs.

Lucille Ball enters the picture to recreate a noteworthy moment from Jack’s past. It’s the filming of a “Goldwyn Girls” movie, and poor Lucy, just like in the classic “I Love Lucy” episode “Lucy Gets Into Pictures”, has difficulty carrying off the chorine role. Jack, in trenchcoat and snappy hat, puts the moves on Lucy…when he kisses her hand all of the balloons on her headdress pop. Then, young go-getter and chorus boy Marion Michael Morrison walks in and asks Jack for his autograph.

MARION: I have been thinking of changing it Mr. Benny, to Wayne.
JACK: Wayne…that’s not too bad. Wayne…..how about Wayne Newton?
LUCY: How about John Wayne Newton?
MARION: That’s worse than Marion Michael Morrison!

Sending John Wayne on his way, Jack plans to “audition” Lucy at his apartment. This portion of the sketch is basically a cavalcade of the same visual gag….casanova Jack has a bed hidden behind every door, wall, couch, chair, etc. in the apartment.

To finish off the special, Dr. Reuben visits again with Jack and discusses his violin playing. Jack takes the opportunity to play a selection for the studio audience, and ends up having to trail them as they file out under the closing credits.

Jack Benny’s First Farewell Special

Johnny Carson opens this special and launches the running gag of the hour: Nobody seems to notice the “first” in the show’s title, and everyone assumes this is Jack’s true farewell. Jack’s guests, in addition to Johnny: Issac Hayes, Joey Heatherton, Bob Hope, Dean Martin, Lee Trevino and NBC variety star of the moment Flip Wilson.

Jack decides to visit Dean Martin in his studio to relax him ahead of being a special guest.

JACK: I just thought I’d come by. I tell ya, there’s no reason for you to be worried or nervous about the show tomorrow.
DEAN: What show?
JACK: My show! My special!
DEAN: Oh, am I on that?
JACK: He’s so nervous, he doesn’t know what’s happening!

Joey Heatherton trades saucy banter about her movie career with Jack:

JOEY: They offered me 50,000 pounds to make the picture. In American money that’s-
JACK: I know what it is! You could have told me in yen and I would have toldja how much! But why are you hesitating about making the picture? Don’t you like the script?
JOEY: In this picture, there’s one scene where they want me to run through a field of flowers nude…and I don’t want to do it.
JACK: They want you to run through a field of flowers nude?
JOEY: Completely.
JACK: Wellllllllllllllllllllll….are the flowers high?

Joey Heatherton sings “Look What They’ve Done To My Song, Ma”.

Bob Hope continues the parade of people who misunderstand and think the show is Jack’s final farewell.

Lee Trevino exchanges golf quips with Jack.

And then a shirtless Issac Hayes sings “Shaft.” And Jack comes over and sits down to chat with him after the song.

You have likely noticed we’re breezing through this one. The truth is, by this time Benny was down to only one special a year, and it seems that sketch comedy (which requires memorization and staging) has largely been replaced by the Bob Hope Special “stand-up interview” template.

With the arrival of Flip Wilson we get the closest thing to a sketch this hour offers. Flip and Jack do a old time radio recreation that somehow is tied in with “Ironside”. (The conceit is that since Jack’s show is pre-empting Raymond Burr’s detective hour they wanted to throw a bone to the show’s fans.) There’s a lot of joking around with a wheelchair which….even in 1972, I could think of a lot of people who would feel offended by that. Also, the “one person saddled with doing all the voices and sound effects in an old radio setup” was not a novel sketch concept. “Laugh-In:, “The Dean Martin Show” and probably other series had their way with this concept.

Even though these last two specials are fairly underwhelming, it’s important to point out that Jack himself is continually entertaining. His bickering with George Burns throughout this hour is hilarious, and he tends to take things a bit loose, so there are always surprises and ad-libs even during the pre-written banter segments. The conclusion to this show, with cameo by California governor Ronald Reagan, finds our future president offering Jack a Rolls-Royce automobile for his “retirement.” Retire and get a Rolls, or keep making “Farewell Specials”? This is the most difficult choice for Jack to make since “Your money or your life?” And a very funny way to end the running gag.

Jack Benny’s Second Farewell Special
Special guests: George Burns, Johnny Carson, Redd Foxx, Dinah Shore, and The DeFranco Family

This special aired January 24, 1974, one day before my 2nd birthday and a little under a year before Jack Benny died at age 80.

JACK: I don’t worry about age because it was Mark Twain who once said….not to me! But he said that age is a matter of mind. And if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

There are video clips on YouTube of Jack Benny television appearances on “The Tonight Show” and elsewhere from fairly deep into 1974 where he looks fine, is his usual funny self. Inoperable pancreatic cancer claimed him. But the audio and video lives on.

Jack’s monologue includes a hilarious run about the way Vegas promotes visiting entertainers.

JACK: Like Barbra…or “Elvis is Here”…then you know it’s Presley. They just use their first names. Sometimes you can make a mistake. I was in Las Vegas with my wife Mary and we saw a big sign that said Sammy. So I said, “Let’s go in here, for heaven’s sake, we haven’t seen Sammy Davis in months.” And he wasn’t even playing there. It was a pancake house! … I decided that the next time I play Vegas I’m gonna be one of those superstars. And all you’re gonna see on the marquee is my first name, Jack. That’s all you’re gonna see on the marquee, just Jack. Let ’em guess who the hell I am!

Johnny Carson pops in to ask Jack how many more of these farewell shows he’s going to do. Johnny walks off but sneaks back on to drop his pants for Jack’s amusement…and ours.

The monologue interruptions continue as a crime is committed in the middle of Jack’s studio! (This is a variation on a routine Jack did on TV a few times, where he starts to tell a joke (“I never, NEVER tell jokes on my show but this one is just too good…”). In this case, a gunshot, scream and police officer serve to completely derail Jack’s punchline (“Naturally, it goes better when people don’t scream and shoot.”)

Bubble gum superstars The DeFranco Family (featuring Tony DeFranco sing their hit, “Heartbeat (It’s a Lovebeat)”. It’s a darn good song!

Continuing the great American tradition that is “Everybody razzes Jack”:

(The DeFranco Family, all teenagers, give their ages.)
JACK: Wellll…I guess I’m, you know, a few years older.
TONY: A few years older than I am?
JACK: No, all of you put together!
DEFRANCO KID: You could throw my father in there too!

Hey! Remember the cop and the gun and the scream from earlier? Well, guess what? Joe Friday and Bill Gannon (Jack Webb and Harry Morgan) from “Dragnet” are here to investigate!

Now, I may like 60’s Dragnet almost as much as I like Jack Benny. So this is like the best of both worlds. Poor Jack can’t remember anything about the incident, which cheeses off Joe Friday.

JOE FRIDAY: So all you’re interested in is your show. You don’t care if a woman’s purse was stolen, she lost all her money. All you’re interested in is your show.
GANNON: What would happen if someone stole your money?
JACK: I’d kill ’em!

The cops eventually leave…but not before Gannon gets Jack’s autograph. “Thank you. You’re despicable!”

Weary from his run-in with the law, Jack imagines a life of leisure…which becomes Jack and George Burns as fountain statues in Rome. Jack: “Between the water and having to look at those coins in the fountain it’s driving me crazy!” This is one of the more repeated sketches from the NBC Benny specials…very funny lines throughout, and a goofy finish involving a cavalcade of live pigeons.

Dinah Shore sings “You’ve Got To See Mamma Every Night Or You Can’t See Mamma At All.”

Jack and Dinah’s post-song banter is interrupted, again by the cop–still chasing the suspect. Surprise cameo Don Rickles stands up and complains that his Aunt Fanny’s visit to see Jack Benny is being fouled up. “Fanny, you shoulda seen this guy years ago when he was a lot younger. He walked regular!”

Having evicted Don Rickles and his Fanny, Dinah sings “It Had To Be You.”

Redd Foxx, then hot as a pistol on NBC’s “Sanford And Son”, welcomes Jack to his palatial home. Jack was expecting something “early junkyard.” It’s a short sketch, again playing against the Sanford character.

The finale features Jack, dressed up in 70s-style threads, ready to perform with his new musical combo. Unfortunately, the suspect from earlier in the show is still trying to sneak past the cops and there’s a mighty showdown right on the bandstand, eventually leaving Jack the last musician standing. This sequence has some pretty spectacular stuntwork and direction (Jack: [The musical number] must have been arranged by Blue Cross.”)

Random Notes:

-The “si/Sy/sew/Sue” routine was done dozens of times on the Jack Benny radio and television programs. It is hard to imagine a routine of its type being done today. Specifically, it is no longer acceptable to have for example, Mel Blanc (decidedly not Hispanic) play a Hispanic character. I tend to try to experience things based on the era in which they were produced, and what it appears that the intent was. To me “si/Sy/Sue” etc. is a comedy routine based in wordplay with no malicious intent. God knows there’s enough out there to feel ashamed about. Have you listened to “Speedy Gonzales” by Pat Boone? With such foul verses as “there’s loads of roaches in the hall”, “They giving green stamps with tequila!”, etc. (Regrettably Mel Blanc is on that record…)

-Listen to this (it’s set to a certain piece of video):

In that clip Bob Hope says, “Wait’ll I tell Crosby! He’ll shoot himself!” But boy, does it sound an awful like a different word than “shoot” to me. I blame it on 25 years of wearing headphones.

-In the clip with the Dragnet stars (Jack Webb and Harry Morgan) you’ll notice Morgan is sporting a very un-officer like beard. He was starring at the time on NBC’s western series “Hec Ramsey.”

And there you have it! The Jack Benny specials. I may at some point do an article on “A Love Letter To Jack Benny” the tribute show Johnny Carson, Bob Hope and George Burns hosted in 1981. But right now it’s 2:30am. I don’t know why my brain shoves me into these long writing projects so late at night. But here we are.